Addiction and Dependency
Touches So Many

By Rabbi Paul J. Kipnes

Addiction and dependency pulls apart lives and families. While many congregants who struggle with addiction attend services for spiritual support, most also attend 12 Step meetings several times a week to help them walk the path of recovery. The stories of these Or Ami congregants – of their descent to rock-bottom and, in some cases, their ascent to recovery – move me deeply. Into my office have walked so many of our congregants, each struggling with challenges – their own or in their families – ranging from alcoholism and drug addiction to gambling, overeating and sexual addictions. And those are only the ones with whom I have had discussions. Experience in other synagogue communities has taught me that even larger numbers of congregants’ families are touched by addiction. Yet, for the most part, our community still has a way to go to embrace these as congregational issues, demanding congregational openness and rabbinic time and attention.

Moreover, the wall of silence surrounding issues of addiction – demanded in part by the stipulation in the 12 Step program for anonymity (“what is said in this room must remain in this room”) – remains in force even in our congregation. Yet what would happen if we created a community where discussions of addictions could take place alongside discussions about other illnesses?

The prophets of old would demand more, asking us if we are ready to welcome in and talk openly about some of the more unseemly aspects of addiction. Are we ready to create a community of safety in which a congregant might ask aloud for prayers of healing for a sister or brother, a parent or child, who is struggling with drug addiction? As always, I am here to talk or offer support when helpful.